theescapewriter

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Sirens sing for the beauty you have–your

Astonishing presence so bright it could rival the sun.

 Nary could a man deny the perfection you hold—the

Dulcet tones of your humble voice soothe the

Aching hearts that crave for that serene smile only you can give.

Rain—I wish that strong outpour of blessings for you—

(Another year of the abundance of love and all that is happy,

 Places to see and places to revisit as you greet this year

 And that one single man who could offer you the world.)

Russet hues that tint your cheeks as you laugh and

Kismet are the simplest things but I wish them for you as well.

VD_

Fast—

Was the only way you wanted it—

Not caring what I may think.

 

You should have, though.

Should’ve listened…
When I told you to put your phone down

And rest your head in between

These two limbs

Spread out like wings in front of you.
Should’ve listened…
When I told you about that

Labyrinth-a secret place where lovers visit-

To do our trite ‘business’

Like no one was watching.
Should’ve listened…
When I sang to you

About sangria mornings

And tequila sunrises–

But you let my throat go dry…

As you cleared yours and

Told me to not make any noise

And just ride.
Should’ve listened…
When I told you it was just hormones

That pins me down

The wrong side of our bed…

When the red tide comes and

I could only flee downtown.
Should’ve listened…
When they said swapping spit

Was to make hearts flutter–

Besides making bosoms prouder

And pushing imaginary buttons.
Should’ve listened….
When I told you

Digits are to be dialled

And not be used for just plucking

This rose bud so femme

‘Til it cries for release.
Should’ve listened….
When I refused,

That time you offered me this

Vial to cure my memories-

They were such a danger to me, you see.
And you should’ve listened…
When I firmly said no.
But you remained combative–

Ripping off this little organ

In between my chest

And threw it to the hungry, pathetic dogs

With chiseled jaws

That remind me of you.
Should’ve listened to all those…
‘Because I am worth more 

Than what you want to see.

Such a big pan full of bull shit,

You little lily-livered boy,

Your mouth, 

That is.’

 

And so, this is why

We cannot be together now.
Because all I ever wanted you to do

(Even just once)
Was to just listen…

 

 

 

 

But you never did.

 

-valeriedecrepito

 

Wonderland
I fell–

Into Wonderland.
Down into the rabbit hole

Where impossible

Became its opposite.
I met you–

You in your garish clothes

That speak of trouble.
It was blinding.

Yes, it was blinding

Like a kaleidoscope–

Crystalline and complex

Like your heart made of stone.
I was drawn to it

Like a magnet–where ‘polars’

Attract–and

Maybe I was stupid. 
Indeed I was

To have let you in just like that.
The clock was ticking

And you chased me like that hare

Running out of time,

Giving me that cheshire smile
That made me fall–

Hook, line, and sinker.
The way your lips held mine

As I struggled to breathe

While we bicker.
Bicker our way into each other’s minds

Into each other’s mouths,

Into each other’s clothes.
Drink me, you said.

And I did.

Oh how I’ve regretted it. 

 

You make me feel like the

Red Queen

Asking for that innocent swine to fly,

Being catered to whim by whim

Until I realize all

Who I held dear

Have their heads served for me in a platter.
It was horrid,

like my pedantic eagerness
But I cannot be saved anymore.
I was at the heart

Of Wonderland…

Wondering if I am already mad…
And sometimes, wishing

To still be that little girl in blue

Daydreaming only about

Life outside the box.
And not actually be out of it. 

-valeriedecrepito

It has been more than a year since I last posted here. I have been in a writing rut, so bad that I actually considered quitting wordpress permanently. 😦

But, lo and behold! Here is an unedited poem I made in two days while riding the train on the way to work.


Waiting

by Valerie Joy Decrepito

He sits by the patio,
Silent, oblivious to the throng.

He does not hear
The children’s playful laughter,
Nor the parents’ warning shouts.

He does not see
The warm colors from the
Teepee of today’s
Thanksgiving parade.

He does not hear
The mob,
In all its shining glory,
Sing the bells
of a budding romance.

Nothing, not one thing, at all.

For his thoughts consisted
of the woman,
The woman who by his side
Stayed the most.

He could see the days
That started
With him smelling
The scent of her.

That scent,
The scent of her perfume,
That scent would linger,
For hours,
For days,
For months,
For years.

Funny how it actually does stay,
As if it was always there,
Living comfortably,
In the home he created with her.

He could not, however,
Bring all her smiles
Down the drain,
For one ray of sunshine
That touches his forgotten porch
Was enough
To remind him of her.

He sits by the patio,
Silent, contemplating.

“Of how long has she been there
That he started to not see her,
Her prodding eyes,
Her asking lips,
Her unfailing love
For him?”

Oh what a complete fool I was,
He says.

I will make it up to her next time,
He says.

But it never actually happened.

He sits by the patio,
Silent, mindful of the throng.

The throng’s turkey talks
And pumpkin joys
Remind him of what once was
Their thanksgiving morning.

The children’s happy waves
Seen from the teepee
Of today’s parade
Made him think that once
He asked her for one of their own.

The mob,
In all its shining glory,
Still sing the bells
Of a romance
That he has been longing for.

He once had everything,
His love and his life,
He had it all.

He stayed there for quite a while,
Staring blankly at the screen
That invited her to him.

He stayed still,
Waiting for his dame.
He stayed there for quite a while,
But she, his love, never came.

Words by Valerie Joy Decrepito

I shall keep the words

You once said to me.

They will be all that I have left

Of you.

You will never amount to anything,

You say.

(I could probably use this against you,

Someday.)

I used to always think

You were superior.

But unluckily,

My thoughts are always

Better than the truth.

Your almost-rotten body lies

Lower than the grave of the

Gallows-maker.

(Bless your heart,

I say.

Bless your heart for

I pity you strongly.)

 

You are constantly

Quick to judge

But you always forget…

“Even the damned books

Have intricate eyes, my dear.”

You remain devouring

Sour grapes that might’ve

Gone bad already,

Because you’d rather eat them

Than your own words

Which will probably cause

Your very demise.

Someday, you’ll see through your own web of lies and realize I wasn’t the reason why you aren’t with your own son. Someday, you’ll be forgiven by all those people you have shunned because you envy them. Someday, you will realize that no one will be there for because you have never been there for anyone. Someday, you’ll admit that I was already somebody even when you were a nobody. Someday, you’ll hate all the good things I’ve done for you and your family and you’ll realize that the person you really hate is no one but yourself. Someday, my dear, someday, you’ll love and thank me for finally  proving you wrong.

P.S.

I figured this is a safe place for me to write about someone who I once respected and won’t ever respect again in my life. Thank you for making me the center of your life for over a year now. I haven’t been thinking about you, but you would never stop talking about me with  your peers and family. Without you, I would never be as strong as I am now.

And yes, I am talking about my witch of an aunt.

To be honest, these past few weeks have been a total blur to me. It has been uneventful. My team threw the whole game away. And I have been spending my time in the four corners that I would like to call my room.

Between catching a bug named throat infection and watching NBA finals, I could just say that I just lived a pretty boring life. Or so I thought.

Lately, I’ve been trying to talk to people I miss, to people I love. I couldn’t help but think about what would have been myself if I didn’t leave the Philippines. Would I still be socially awkward as I was before? Would I be smaller than I am now? Would I even be a UP Eng’g graduate?

It’s so funny how I miss these people who in the past two years, I have been refraining to contact just because I don’t want to envy all the times they’ve spent with each other. Boy, was I glad that I finally had the courage to talk to them via social media.

I can’t believe that I’ve been here in Canada for over two years now. I have changed a lot, I guess. Gone was the girl who would always depend on her parents and on her peers. Welcome to the new me, a person who is willing to conquer any obstacle she could find herself in.

But despite that, I still feel that I am not complete.

I missed a lot. I missed the official break-up of one of my best friends. I know I would’ve handled it better if Kers and Ian had told me they were broken up before I left for Canada. I missed the all the plays my other best friend, Justine,  handled. And not only that, I would’ve loved to see how her love for Lori grew. I missed my goddaughter’s birthdays. I know Ara would’ve been happier if I was present. I miss my cousins back home. I guess it’s really true that cousins are both best friends and family. I miss Mayet, Pat, and Ysan. I am glad that they never fail to include me in all the things they are up to even if we haven’t really spent too much time together since 2008 when we went to different universities. I also miss my grandma whose smile never failed to remind me that once in her life, she became the light of my mother’s home. I also miss Julienne and Arvin, whom I have constantly been talking to in the past two years.

But then I realize that with all of the people I missed, I also met people who I could trust and love more than life. I met my whole family once again. For the first time in my life, I have learned how to take care of my own family. I could never imagine how Nanay and Tatay managed to send me to a private grade school and high school and a prestigious university if we hadn’t migrated to Canada. It finally is very nice to hear my brother say I’m one of those people he could always count on even if I choose to pick on him all the time. I met Pam and Maria, those two people who I know I will always be friends with. Without them, Canadian life would not be complete. And of course, I met ate Faye, Renee and Angie. I would always be thankful for all the things they make me experience here.

Seeing as summer just started, I could officially say that I would be starting to miss these people I met here in Canada. University life will be starting soon and I am sure I will not see them as often.

I just hope I could still remain in constant contact with all of them.

 

_____________________

SEGUE:

Visit my aunt’s site: http://www.mybarecupboard.com for delicious treats and savory meals! ❤

Yesterday, I found these three poems I wrote two years back. I think I based these poems from a book entitled “The Art of Seduction” which was left by its owner in the condo I was living in while I was studying in UP Diliman.

It’s actually nice to know that I’ve always liked writing poems.

One. The Unrequited

By the iced river ’til it begins to thaw

That nymph most damned saw you,

Staring at a Parian marble statue.

One thinks you do not know

Your own self’s seen in the melted snow.

How often purse your lips as you kissed the nonexistent?

How often plunge your arms as you clasped naught?

Such coquetry beckoned you to close your eyes,

Making that nymph most damned mourn

As the pendulum swings,

Leaving you unborn.

Two. The Siren

Perhaps as the fisherman’s ship goes by

You’ll look back, lured by my voice

Of honeyed silver, of ochred gold from which

The pirate’s treasure now lay below sea-sand.

You and I, we lie in unsure heavens–

Our longing, drifting like anchorless vessels

Lost on straight courses—waves and strings

Crush lodestones, pitching us to and fro

As cannons fired salutes to the rosy clouds in the sky.

And perhaps, yes, perhaps,

The rays of my lord, the Sun,

Would turn us both into foam upon the water.

Three. The Rake

I mark my spot in this padded cell

In case you decide to go back and fix me.

I wait at one side of the world, the

Sanctuary of my saccharine hopes… I dance

For the memory of lips and hands,

Gab and calm, wampum and edam.

I let you whisper of sunset and tomorrow.

These dreams so lucid,

They hightail to one of the hearts you stir.

Oh love, my love,

I ask,

Do you even remember?”