theescapewriter

Archive for April 2016

Ruin

by Valerie Joy Decrepito

 

Why they call this

The city of Angels

I would never understand

Except for the nights

It held me close to this

Button of rationality

Through caresses and kisses

That brought me to my feet.

You were that cherubim—

Dancing with the flames

And capturing me, that fallen angel

Out of Poverty. But I didn’t see it

Up until that day you ruined me.

It went straight to my head,

And into my weak lungs—

Funny how I refuse

To acknowledge the fact

That it hadn’t gone there,

Not at all,

But at fragile piece in between

I treasured to keep safe.

You were the illusory dream

Someone like me never

Would’ve met had you

Not caught me in that white scarf

That led us to all this.

Our entangled limbs

And crashed lips

At war every night—I have

Never imagined someone being

So close like that to me before.

With someone like me

Tilting at windmills

And walking on eggshells

Every time I pass by through these

Massive halls of emptiness—

Someone like you

Showed up filling every crevice

And every nook, raising vodka

Glasses as a tribute to each of my

Fears only you could heal.

You weren’t lying when you said

I was going wake up one day

Stripped bare as the day

My Ma gave me my first kiss.

You weren’t lying when you said

I was going to be painfully crushed

Each night you hold me like that

In your arms—in that blanket

Of Security

I have come to depend on.

You made a joke out of me

And here I am

Letting you laugh

If it makes you that happy.

Even if it destroys me.

You win and I lose

In this game you forced me to play.

I never once admitted this

But for you, I will.

Now and forever.

You win.

You ruined me, you fool.

You completely and utterly ruined me

And yet…

For days and weeks and months

I have come to love you.

Unconditionally.